Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Oh boy, Comedy!

So, I've started submitting features, and maybe articles soon for my college's satirical paper.
Now, I'm actually in the club that I'm making fun of, and the piece does require a bit of understanding of events that have recently happened on campus, but it plays off of the stereotypes of being a Gamer, some of which might be funny.

E-Sports Meeting Minutes
As reported by Mr. Schink

  1. Call to Order: 7:00
  2. Play Halo Reach: 7:01 – 8:00
  3. John yells at everyone else claiming “they cheated” 8:01 – 8:04
  4. Actual Call to Order 8:05
  5. Snack Reserves
    Dangerously Low (and dangerously cheesy, but seriously guys, stop eating all of our snack reserves). 
    Note for the Future: 10 pounds of Hot-pockets and 4 gallons of Mountain Dew: Gamerz Fuel is never enough 
    Possible Option 
    Dress-up like pirates and harvest vending machines. 
    Force all freshmen and jans to work in the hot-pocket mines.
  1. Recruitment
  • The girl to guy ratio is 1:Alot, we might want to change that.
  • Posters
    • Last time we had an event we had about 400 posters, We need 10 times that next time.
  1. Funding
  • John said he got money from student council, but all we have is an I.O.U. Note that smells vaguely of latex.
  • Denny has about $5.50 in pocket change, that's about five times our budget from last semester.
  1. Looks like a fight is about to break out
  • Someone just made fun of John's face, saying it looked like “If some one made a pepperoni pizza and used hot pockets instead.
  • Oh, a nice right-hook from John, his fist has maybe, 10-pounds of force, that's a lot.
  • Here comes Matthew into the battle, it looks like he's carrying a controller of some kind.
  • ...I never knew you could do something like that wit ha Gamecube-controller.
  • Ian seems to be tossing, Dorito chip powder at people while yelling something about “casting fireball”.
  • I really hope they don't notice me under this cardboard box in the corner
  • Oh god, I think they noti
[This report was found covered in soda stains, grease, and pizza bits, the writer has yet to be found.]

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